I don't know what myself even is. If it's this I don't want it to be.
( his fingers twitch around the mug and he itches to do something that isn't just sitting here, trying to string together sentences about himself that he barely understands on a good day.
but. if this is it he doesn't want it to be. it's probably the most honest thing that nick has ever said with caleb. he needs to try something different, because avoidance in all its many forms hasn't gotten him very far at all. )
It hurts like...everyone around me, when I'm fucked up like this. You know? It's not just me any more, I keep like--forgetting that. I just want to be like...a real, fucking person.
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( his fingers twitch around the mug and he itches to do something that isn't just sitting here, trying to string together sentences about himself that he barely understands on a good day.
but. if this is it he doesn't want it to be. it's probably the most honest thing that nick has ever said with caleb. he needs to try something different, because avoidance in all its many forms hasn't gotten him very far at all. )
It hurts like...everyone around me, when I'm fucked up like this. You know? It's not just me any more, I keep like--forgetting that. I just want to be like...a real, fucking person.