( people have said that too, but nick still has a hard time hearing it. there's no middle ground, again — if he's not completely on top of everything, completely over it all, he's a wreck. there's a lot of grey in recovery; not so much in nick's view of things. )

I'm trying to be better. About like, talking, and not just ignoring everything, letting it all build up. It's just, like, habit now I guess. It's hard.