[ Nate's quiet, on edge. His anxiety can be seen in his fingers, which keep worrying each other, and in the tension in his jaw, and in the way his shoulders hunch over themselves. ]

But it's been...a year and a half. More than. And they still happen and it's not like anything here is gonna stop triggering them.

[ He ends up lifting the coffee cup again, just to have something to do with his hands. ]

And then when I woke up, from that like week long coma, Anna was gone again. And then I found out Nick got taken by the same demon, and then...Nick had a bunch of other shit going on that terrified me, which i can't talk about because it's his, but he was like, significant. And now Magnus is gone. Which is like the perfect cap to the last few months, honestly.

I just keep...losing. Sooner or later I'm gonna die again, there's just no possible way I get to escape that. And everyone I love will just filter away, one after the other and there's nothing I can do about any of it. Any of it.