[ Nate's quiet, on edge. His anxiety can be seen in his fingers, which keep worrying each other, and in the tension in his jaw, and in the way his shoulders hunch over themselves. ]
But it's been...a year and a half. More than. And they still happen and it's not like anything here is gonna stop triggering them.
[ He ends up lifting the coffee cup again, just to have something to do with his hands. ]
And then when I woke up, from that like week long coma, Anna was gone again. And then I found out Nick got taken by the same demon, and then...Nick had a bunch of other shit going on that terrified me, which i can't talk about because it's his, but he was like, significant. And now Magnus is gone. Which is like the perfect cap to the last few months, honestly.
I just keep...losing. Sooner or later I'm gonna die again, there's just no possible way I get to escape that. And everyone I love will just filter away, one after the other and there's nothing I can do about any of it. Any of it.
[ It's not super professional to share that, but he also knows about Nate and Nick's empathy bond and being an empath himself he figures they worry about each other pretty much constantly. ]
I think maybe we gotta address one thing at a time because it's all so much, and it's a lot going on for you personally, on top of a lot going on for the people around you.
[ Which is extra heavy because Nate usually takes care of other people before taking care of himself. So this is the culmination of a few months of a lot of shit going on. ]
[ Nate's quiet, and then he just nods. He finally drinks some of that coffee, and then he stares into it, like all the answers can be found in that black pool. ]
[ It is the biggest thing. For him, it always has been. ]
I...
It's the thing that gets me the most, I guess? It's the third time, the first being the time I actually died, and the second being about six months later when the necklace saved me the first time.
And now there's this. It's like it's chasing me. It's everywhere. And I know it happens to a lot of people here and somehow they seem like they're okay with that and I just...don't understand that. I don't know how this isn't everyone's biggest thing.
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no subject
But it's been...a year and a half. More than. And they still happen and it's not like anything here is gonna stop triggering them.
[ He ends up lifting the coffee cup again, just to have something to do with his hands. ]
And then when I woke up, from that like week long coma, Anna was gone again. And then I found out Nick got taken by the same demon, and then...Nick had a bunch of other shit going on that terrified me, which i can't talk about because it's his, but he was like, significant. And now Magnus is gone. Which is like the perfect cap to the last few months, honestly.
I just keep...losing. Sooner or later I'm gonna die again, there's just no possible way I get to escape that. And everyone I love will just filter away, one after the other and there's nothing I can do about any of it. Any of it.
no subject
[ It's not super professional to share that, but he also knows about Nate and Nick's empathy bond and being an empath himself he figures they worry about each other pretty much constantly. ]
I think maybe we gotta address one thing at a time because it's all so much, and it's a lot going on for you personally, on top of a lot going on for the people around you.
[ Which is extra heavy because Nate usually takes care of other people before taking care of himself. So this is the culmination of a few months of a lot of shit going on. ]
no subject
Maybe.
[ A breath. ]
So where do we go first?
no subject
[ It's what came up first, although it might be just what Nate feels is the Biggest thing. ]
no subject
I...
It's the thing that gets me the most, I guess? It's the third time, the first being the time I actually died, and the second being about six months later when the necklace saved me the first time.
And now there's this. It's like it's chasing me. It's everywhere. And I know it happens to a lot of people here and somehow they seem like they're okay with that and I just...don't understand that. I don't know how this isn't everyone's biggest thing.