There's no easy fix, but talking helps. Unpacking all of that and airing it out might suck at first, but then it'll get lighter. It becomes a shitty thing that happened instead of this monster trying to swallow you whole.

[ that's experience talking. he still has nightmares about damien, but they happen less often now, every couple of weeks as opposed to every night. ]

You're very hard on yourself. But if you look at everything you've overcome and how you're doing now, you should be proud of where you are.