[ his grasp on business is shaky at best but he's pretty sure this isn't the kind of thing one charges for. ]
Why'd you go out drinking?
[ it's still not an accusation, he knows damn well nick's impulse-control is close to nonexistent and that nick's managed to convince himself getting drunk doesn't count as not being sober. he's worried, though, that something new happened. ]
( he chugs the gatorade again, not because he's avoiding the question exactly. just because he's blurry about the details of things right now, and it takes a moment to recall the exact steps that led to the bar, led to too many rounds and shots and led to nick not being able to stand entirely straight. )
I don't know, I wasn't even upset. I was going to just go home but then I was like, fuck it. Who am I trying to impress? No one cares if it's been a week since I had a drink or got high or something.
( there's some emphatic gestures as he talks, but nick is happy to be guided over to the couch all the same, frowning with great intensity as he sits, overly careful as he tries not to spill the drink, despite the bottle being half-empty and in no real danger outside of nick dropping it. )
I'm not impressed. Do you know how lame it is being sober for almost three months and still not managing a two-week fucking chip? I might as well have not done it.
I think it's worth the effort, even when you don't get where you wanted to get.
[ He's not just saying that, he actually believes it. ]
There's a lot of... messaging, I guess, that if you don't reach the finish line then it's not worth it, but that's bullshit. Effort has intrinsic value, and people don't finish marathons on their first try, they train for months, and then run it, and then have to stop halfway through. And then they do it again and again, until they can finish.
( nick snorts a little, but he doesn't have the muster to keep up the disbelief. instead he just shrugs, looking at the bottle in his hand and swirling the liquid inside of it idly. )
I don't know, man, I think maybe I'm just not built to be sober. Like I came up with all these stupid loopholes for things that didn't count, and I still broke all of them too.
I think it would help if you tried it with more structure.
[ it's not caleb's job to tell people what to do, and he does his best on making suggestions and letting people get where they think is best for them. but with nick sometimes it feels like he's trying to give swimming lessons to someone who's already drowning. ]
You're smart and naturally good at things, but if you don't get things right the first time you decide you're bad at that thing and should never try again.
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no subject
[ his grasp on business is shaky at best but he's pretty sure this isn't the kind of thing one charges for. ]
Why'd you go out drinking?
[ it's still not an accusation, he knows damn well nick's impulse-control is close to nonexistent and that nick's managed to convince himself getting drunk doesn't count as not being sober. he's worried, though, that something new happened. ]
no subject
( he chugs the gatorade again, not because he's avoiding the question exactly. just because he's blurry about the details of things right now, and it takes a moment to recall the exact steps that led to the bar, led to too many rounds and shots and led to nick not being able to stand entirely straight. )
I don't know, I wasn't even upset. I was going to just go home but then I was like, fuck it. Who am I trying to impress? No one cares if it's been a week since I had a drink or got high or something.
no subject
I thought you were doing it for yourself. You don't think it's cool to know you can go a week and be okay?
no subject
( there's some emphatic gestures as he talks, but nick is happy to be guided over to the couch all the same, frowning with great intensity as he sits, overly careful as he tries not to spill the drink, despite the bottle being half-empty and in no real danger outside of nick dropping it. )
I'm not impressed. Do you know how lame it is being sober for almost three months and still not managing a two-week fucking chip? I might as well have not done it.
no subject
[ He's not just saying that, he actually believes it. ]
There's a lot of... messaging, I guess, that if you don't reach the finish line then it's not worth it, but that's bullshit. Effort has intrinsic value, and people don't finish marathons on their first try, they train for months, and then run it, and then have to stop halfway through. And then they do it again and again, until they can finish.
no subject
( nick snorts a little, but he doesn't have the muster to keep up the disbelief. instead he just shrugs, looking at the bottle in his hand and swirling the liquid inside of it idly. )
I don't know, man, I think maybe I'm just not built to be sober. Like I came up with all these stupid loopholes for things that didn't count, and I still broke all of them too.
no subject
[ it's not caleb's job to tell people what to do, and he does his best on making suggestions and letting people get where they think is best for them. but with nick sometimes it feels like he's trying to give swimming lessons to someone who's already drowning. ]
You're smart and naturally good at things, but if you don't get things right the first time you decide you're bad at that thing and should never try again.