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[allyourfeels]

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[allyourfeels]

im gonna put a pin on the immortal bf thing bc like. under normal circumstances immortals dont exist so it's a non-issue, and also like, this place being so sex-oriented drawing a line re:ages here is impossible and possibly hypocritical.

but how old was the guy vs how old were you? bc like, 4 years isn't "A lot" but if you were 15 and he was 19, then it is.

[extent]

he wasnt 19 [ ........ ] he was 18. so it's only like, 3 yrs

[allyourfeels]

3 years at that age is a lifetime

[extent]

thats very dramatic

[allyourfeels]

i'm not trying to be. i'm just saying, at 18 i was a completely different person than i was at 15.

[extent]

idt i was i think i think i p much stayed the same until here
i wasnt doing v much

[allyourfeels]

i thought u were perfecting the art of weed horcruxing

[extent]

why does everyone keep calling them horcruxes theyre not creepy :(

its true tho all i did for years was grow weed so im p perfect at it now

[allyourfeels]

fine ur happycruxes

did u talk to the wizard abt them?

[extent]

yeah we're working on it i got sidetracked being a busy bitch

i have like 3 jobs lol how did that happen

[allyourfeels]

do u actually want me to answer that?

[extent]

no bc ur just gonna say im busy 2 stop myself thinking abt my feelings or idk im subconsciously trying 2 prove my worth or smthn like that

[allyourfeels]

right, yeah. you're getting good at this.

[extent]

am i winning at therapy?

[allyourfeels]

winning at therapy: something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve?

[extent]

exactly 😎and im fucking nailing it

[allyourfeels]

💯 you're getting the best grades at therapy

[extent]

thank u i actually appreciate that a lot

[allyourfeels]

there's no actual grades at therapy. but i do see you're working hard

it's kinda hard here bc it's like, we're not done processing last year's flood or w/e but there's been like 8 other terrible things since. so you're like, finishing up putting a band-aid on ur finger, but someone just cut off your leg

[extent]

it does feel like
i don't know i don't want to jinx myself and go off the fuckin rails tomorrow now but idk i don't feel as like
fragile, i guess

idk does that make sense?

[allyourfeels]

It makes a lot of sense yeah. Like, you know yourself better and you're better prepared. So like, the idea of something happening is less scary.

[extent]

like tbh what are they even going to throw at me at this point like
jail? done it
punishments? had em
dying? lol

like it's yknow 🤷‍♀️ whatever man

[allyourfeels]

that's not really what i meant.

but idk if there's a way to deal with it while we're still trapped here. humans adapt v. quickly, and we develop coping mechanisms and like, whatever coping mechanisms we develop here are probably not gonna be super helpful once we're out. but we're still here so 'whatever man' works.