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[allyourfeels]

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[extent]

i mean tbf i could have just not fucked him so

(i'm joking)

nick why

[allyourfeels]

i mean, i know very little about the situation, but i just need to know he was older to suspect v strongly the dude was a predatory asshole

(i'm not joking)

[extent]

one of my bfs is literally a million caleb thats a very broad assumption to make ;)

but no idk. i think maybe we were just both a bit stupid + tried to be more than we were like. capable of and then like i was already a hot mess from school shit and it was just a bad combo yknow? he wasn't that much older

[allyourfeels]

im gonna put a pin on the immortal bf thing bc like. under normal circumstances immortals dont exist so it's a non-issue, and also like, this place being so sex-oriented drawing a line re:ages here is impossible and possibly hypocritical.

but how old was the guy vs how old were you? bc like, 4 years isn't "A lot" but if you were 15 and he was 19, then it is.

[extent]

he wasnt 19 [ ........ ] he was 18. so it's only like, 3 yrs

[allyourfeels]

3 years at that age is a lifetime

[extent]

thats very dramatic

[allyourfeels]

i'm not trying to be. i'm just saying, at 18 i was a completely different person than i was at 15.

[extent]

idt i was i think i think i p much stayed the same until here
i wasnt doing v much

[allyourfeels]

i thought u were perfecting the art of weed horcruxing

[extent]

why does everyone keep calling them horcruxes theyre not creepy :(

its true tho all i did for years was grow weed so im p perfect at it now

[allyourfeels]

fine ur happycruxes

did u talk to the wizard abt them?

[extent]

yeah we're working on it i got sidetracked being a busy bitch

i have like 3 jobs lol how did that happen

[allyourfeels]

do u actually want me to answer that?

[extent]

no bc ur just gonna say im busy 2 stop myself thinking abt my feelings or idk im subconsciously trying 2 prove my worth or smthn like that

[allyourfeels]

right, yeah. you're getting good at this.

[extent]

am i winning at therapy?

[allyourfeels]

winning at therapy: something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve?

[extent]

exactly 😎and im fucking nailing it

[allyourfeels]

💯 you're getting the best grades at therapy

[extent]

thank u i actually appreciate that a lot

[allyourfeels]

there's no actual grades at therapy. but i do see you're working hard

it's kinda hard here bc it's like, we're not done processing last year's flood or w/e but there's been like 8 other terrible things since. so you're like, finishing up putting a band-aid on ur finger, but someone just cut off your leg

[extent]

it does feel like
i don't know i don't want to jinx myself and go off the fuckin rails tomorrow now but idk i don't feel as like
fragile, i guess

idk does that make sense?

[allyourfeels]

It makes a lot of sense yeah. Like, you know yourself better and you're better prepared. So like, the idea of something happening is less scary.

[extent]

like tbh what are they even going to throw at me at this point like
jail? done it
punishments? had em
dying? lol

like it's yknow 🤷‍♀️ whatever man