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[allyourfeels]

video | call | text | action

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[sunmon]

I don't blame you. It was ...

[ she shuts the door, frowning. ]

Did you know that the SIN guards can disable your abilities? It only lasts a matter of hours, but ... [ she hadn't known that. when it had happened. ]

[allyourfeels]

Shit, no one told you? I mean, I got shot up when I first arrived, but it was kind of a blessing because I was losing my entire shit.

[ it hadn't occurred to him to add it to the list of warnings. he's gotta get better at that. ]

I'm sorry, were you in the Down on your own?

[sunmon]

Oh. I'm — [ she waves a hand in front of her, chuckling it off. ] I'm fine.

[ she'd started this story all wrong, apparently. orphan humor is like 'hey this terrible fucking thing happened isn't it funny!!!' but caleb isn't mal. and caleb isn't laughing at the traumatic. it's just traumatic. she doesn't want the sympathy. that's too close to inviting the mire of her fear back. ]

I was on my own, but they didn't hold me in the Zoo for long, and it wore off. I just meant ... [ she drops her hand. ] It makes sense. Steering clear of all of it.

[allyourfeels]

I mean, it's not like I'd have been of much help... sucks you were trapped down there.

[ he's not super sure of what he's feeling from alina, but he can tell she doesn't want to talk about it and he's happy to move on. ]

... you wanna get right into the device stuff?

[ he takes out his. technology is easy enough for him and he's always happy to help. ]

[sunmon]

Yeah. [ her smile is easier as a result of the topic change.

she moves to the couch, gesturing for him to join her as she grabs her device off the table. ] I hadn't been carrying it with me all the time, but we have to now.

[ or maybe they had to before, and she just hadn't consistently. ]

Anyway, I've been on it more, and I realized I should learn better how the people who've been using them longer ... do it. Or what you do with it.

[allyourfeels]

You can send texts or videos, there's also a voice to text option if you don't like typing. I check the network pretty much every day, but I'm happier texting people one on one.

[ he holds his device so she can look at the screen and shows her where all the buttons are. ]

[sunmon]

Yeah. I've seen the videos. [ they had been depressing and disgruntling when she'd first arrived. ] How does that ... work? What I'm seeing, is it happening as I'm seeing it?

[allyourfeels]

It can be, but usually it's recorded. Like... pictures. Moving pictures.

[ he turns on video recording. ]

Right now it's recording. The numbers here are counting how long it's been, when you push the square it stops.

[ he stops recording. and then plays the video back. ]

[sunmon]

[ she watches the recording for only a moment. she's seen enough of them, but it's different to know that they're recorded in clips. ]

Everyone else seems much more comfortable than I am having conversations this way. [ she wrinkles her nose. the long pauses of saving and sending and waiting on a response puts her off. ]

[allyourfeels]

Honestly, I don't love videos. Or voice messages.

[ he plays the video back so alina can see how it's done. ]

I prefer texting but I reply to stuff in the same format I get it. If someone sends audio I send audio back because maybe they can't text for whatever reason.

[sunmon]

I prefer writing, too. [ she smiles. ] I can gather my thoughts.

[ but then she hands the device back over to him. ]

I hadn't thought about that. People not being able to. I guess if you're in a hurry ... [ she still doesn't go right to accessibility. but she breezes past it. ] Everyone's really ... open. Aren't they?

[allyourfeels]

I mean, not everyone. But there's not much of a point keeping some secrets, right?

[ like his empathy thing, keeping it a secret would've only hurt him. ]

Powers and stuff are so common here no one blinks twice.

[sunmon]

Not just with powers. With ... everything.

[ a lot of the posts on the network look to her like the kind of thing she'd only have put in a letter to mal. but everyone can read these letters. ]

Personal things. But I suppose when you've already seen everyone else without their underwear, what's left to hide? [ childhood trauma, she thinks pointedly. ]

[allyourfeels]

I mean, this place isn't big on privacy. If you got secrets they'll come out one way or another.

[ no one likes it, but caleb is completely resigned to it. ]

[sunmon]

Like with EROS?

[ people were blackmailed, seemingly at random. it didn't make much sense to her at the time. ]

[allyourfeels]

I mean, I think that was different. But yeah, and like, the city publishes profiles every so often, sometimes it's bullshit but sometimes it's legit?

[ it sucks but it's just One of Those Things. ]

[sunmon]

Oh, right. [ her nose crinkles. ] Those.

[ nothing on her dom-finder profile had been terribly personal or disarming, but she could think of a few embarrassing facts on others, now that she's putting thought towards it. alina is just a little too self-involved to notice that sort of thing without prompting. ]

Have you ever had something exposed like that?

[allyourfeels]

The last one published the empathy thing, which is fine because it's hardly a secret. And also that I may have killed a guy. [ which he is very much not okay with, but it's not like hiding it helps. ] Which is true. He wanted to hurt my boyfriend and I got angry.

[ angry is an understatement but he doesn't want to get into it. ]

On the bright side, I don't think I got any secrets left?

[sunmon]

I'm sorry. About your boyfriend.

[ she sets her device down on the table. ]

Is he alright?

[allyourfeels]

Yeah, he's safe. No idea about the other guy, I was gently removed while the adults talked about what to do. He was breathing though?

[sunmon]

If it's a choice between letting someone hurt someone else, and hurting them to stop them ...

[ alina hunches her shoulders a little. ]

I wouldn't blame you. Even if he weren't.

[ she thinks of the grisha lost on the sand skiff. thirty or forty people, and they'd died for nothing. the darkling and ivan had both survived, despite it all. ]

[allyourfeels]

Right, no one holds it against me. Which makes it pretty hard to blame myself.

[ he shrugs, there's nothing he can do about it from here anyway. ]

He wasn't like... murderer dangerous, I don't think. Just an asshole.

[sunmon]

Well, maybe this way he'll think twice about being an asshole next time.

[ alina is a little scary, admittedly. she doesn't seem entirely bothered by the fact that near-murder might be a lesson for this. at least, not given that it wasn't actual murder, and caleb seems aware that it was awful. ]

[allyourfeels]

[ despite this place and the blackmail and the murders, caleb still very much is at 'finds murder alarming'

he knows a lot of people who just shrug it off though. ]

I really appreciate that, but also remind me never to piss you off please.

[sunmon]

Oh, no, you don't have to worry about —

[ she realizes now that she's being scary. she holds up her hands in defense. ]

I wouldn't ... [ except, of course, that she had. ivan and the darkling had survived the skiff, but the others hadn't. so many dead grisha. just to free herself and mal. she lowers her hands. ] ... Sorry.